On Friendship

When I was 13/14 years old, I had my first experience of betrayal. I attended Catholic School at the time, and I remembered how the deceptive lies of one of my former friends (by the name of K) lead to one of the worst experiences of my life. While I may never understand nor comprehend her motives for betraying me, I wonder if she ever felt remorse for the pain she inflicted on me.

Were we best friends at the time? No. But we were close. I remember how she would come to my house often; we would chat and do homework together. We talked about boys and other things teenage girls talked about. I never saw it coming.

One day, the guidance counsellor called me to her office. She asked me why I've been saying horrible things about my friends, horrible things in general. Why did I want my parents to divorce so I could get more attention? She said it was wrong to avoid someone because she was poor. She said she felt I needed help.

Dumbfounded, I had no words to answer her. I remembered crying on the hill at the back of my school because my parents had a big fight. I was scared that they would divorce, not crying because I wanted them to. Knowing my parents' humble backgrounds and childhood, I would never look down on someone because of their economic circumstances. It was a lonely term for me because someone had placed these lies into my friends' heads; I was ostracized by my friends.

I never said those things. The only possible explanation for K's actions is that she might have been jealous of me. Why? Because of our circumstances. I have a loving family. She didn't know who her father was. I lived in a wonderful home, she lived in a small apartment with her mom, aunt and half brother. But I think the final straw was the fact that I consistently did better than her in school. Regardless of what subject it was, I always did at least slightly better than her. If she got an A-, I would get an A. If she got a B, I might've gotten a B+. I think her dream was to attain the Academic Excellence award at our school, and my presence took that away from her. I don't know what did it, but I guess one day she just decided she wanted to try to take those things away from me. Maybe she just had issues.

I never told my friends who said those things. I just told them I never said those things. Though I was only 13 years old, I know I felt despair, pain and sadness at that time in my life. When you've never encountered a thunderstorm and have only experienced sunshine, it's a big hit emotionally.

Looking back, it's not painful anymore. I still see her sometimes as we both still live in the same neighbourhood. 8 years ago, we would've spoken a few words of regards. Now, we do not even acknowledge each other's presence; we have nothing to say to each other.

This is inevitably what happens when friendship dies; I know, our paths won't likely cross again.