23 Humorous Lessons

Just in time for my birthday =)

#1) Never eat yellow snow.


#2) If it's moist and it's not yours, don't touch it.

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#11) Naps are good, very good.


#12) Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.


#13) Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.

#14) I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

#15) I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

#16) Some classes may be a religious experience ... you have to take it all on faith.



#17) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

#18) Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

#19) If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.



#20) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.


#21) Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

#22) Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

#23) The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship "I apologize" and "You are right."