Disclaimer: I'm not racist, so don't leave comments about that I am. I hang out w/ a variety of people with different ethnic backgrounds :P Also note, I'm constantly sleep deprived so that's bound to have an effect on my mentality and rationale :P.
I don't know what to blog about lately since I don't want to bore you with yet another episode of drama in my life. (but maybe I'll entertain you if you keep reading till the end =D )
I had a conversation with a friend the other day, let's call her CN. She thinks I'm guy crazy. Well, I guess I may seem like that if I don't know you that well and the only common ground we have is that we're single and might be potentially looking. So I teased her, asking her what her preferences were in a guy, because I said I'd be on the lookout for her Mr. Right. I think she said something about as long as he is nice, perhaps a bit older or same age. I then asked her if she needed her guy to sing like JT or Usher. She replied back that if she was to find a guy like that, she'd never find one. And then she said that she needed the guy to be asian (I'm assuming chinese, because, she's chinese :P).
This suddenly got more interesting.
Me: "CN, why do you want a chinese guy? What about a caucasian guy raised in China who can speak your language?"
CN: "Well, caucasian guys are too hairy."
Me: "Well, what if you found one that can speak chinese and isn't hairy."
CN: "I doubt that's going to happen. And plus, the culture difference is too great."
This was the key issue. I see a lot of asian girls with caucasian boyfriends. It's pretty common actually. But then there are some people that can't overcome the culture barrier. I think it's possible to overcome the barrier unless your mentality/thoughts are stuck in the 17th century! They say opposites attract, but I don't know how many cases of that I know. You might have a few friends that are totally different from you, but I think you're even better friends with the people you are similar to. Although I'm not racist, I think I prefer asian guys because it'd be easier to find one with the same interests as me....
I mean, sure, if you don't know me you might think of me as just a 'typical' Chinese Canadian (and I don't mean that in a derogatory sense). But I actually have some weird 'fob-like' habits that I think are harder to find in a Caucasian guy. Finding a non-asian that likes DDR? Likely. Finding a non asian that watches anime? There's plenty of those! But finding a non-asian that likes to listen to Kpop, Jpop, Cpop as well as watch Korean dramas and chinese dramas.... hrm, I'd say that's pushing it.
So really, it depends on how 'white-washed' you are (not to be used in a racist way - but more of a way to describe how westernized you are), and how you feel about interracial relationships. I've dated an italian before. Unfortunately, it didn't last long because I didn't feel as though there was anything there other than the mutual physical attraction. I'm fine with inter racial relationships, I just feel as though I have a better chance of finding people similar to me if they're asian (since I've been described as Fobby).
But then, I may also just be rambling nonsense. Does it really matter if a guy watches korean dramas or plays piano and violin? Not really. But then, those are definitely things that I notice and makes a guy different from the rest of the crowd. Am I weird? Most definitely so. Maybe that's why I'm having problems meeting guys and have a high chance of becoming a cat lady hahaha. What do you think? Do you agree or disagree?
Edit: If you think I'm childish, that's fine.
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8 comments:
HAHAHA...acting dumb about his cowardly actions...mwuahahaha...love it.
Anyways, its definitely not easy to find a guy who likes everything you like. However, I don't think its good to find a guy who doesn't want to share your interests or isn't open to them. Why? Because as the saying goes "those who play together, stay together"...
HAHAAa... I know all the acronyms, Janet, LOL. You are boy crazy. ;-)
I don't think the boy wanted your opinion to change anything. He probably wanted to just see how you were, perhaps mend the thorny past and start fresh with a nice attitude. Responding negatively could have potentially killed that attempt at a fresh start.
Sometimes you need to see the positive side of things, even if the situation is most obviously portrayed as negative.
I think that a person becomes so much more beautiful when you fall in love with their personality instead of what they look like. You may not have the obvious things in common in the beginning, but a guy that knows what to say to make you smile is worth more than all the Korean movies in the world. They can learn to like the other stuff.
It doesnt sound so me as though he was acting in a cowardly way. I think that if someone i knew was concerned as to how i would feel before breaking any type of news to me i'd be a bit touched that they cared about my feelings. I cant control who people want to date. "Orders can't change people's minds" remember? (anime quote). I think that if it were me i'd be happy that he even told me at all, since its not really an obligation for him to. They fact that he even mentioned it to you shows that he's more of a friend than you think.
Okay, I'm just adding fuel to the fire. I know Janet probably doesn't want to go into details. but the cowardly actions were in reference to an inside joke. Not about "wanting to know about her feelings".
I agree with what Pei posted with an addendum/clarification that it's actually a two-way street and that the girl should also take an interest in the guy's interests. That way both parties get exposed to new interests/activities/experiences. It'll make you grow as a person. Or something.
Janet, this is a question that always boggles my mind too. Do I or do I not date someone outside of my culture? Like you, I'm open-minded about mostly everything. I have no qualms or bias against any race. In fact ^_^ the few asian friends that I have sometimes poke fun of our culture and stereotypes. But when it boils down to it, I think I'm like you. I think that I will eventually settle down with an asian guy. This is mostly based on my past relationships guys from different cultures. Loving someone is fine and dandy when there is chemistry, passion, devotion etc. I got all of that from my past boyfriends who weren't asian. But when it came to understanding my asian heritage, when it came to understanding asian tradition and stereotypes (ie: the importance of the New Year or why my parents were so ridiculously strict and academic-driven), none of them could grasp onto *why* that was. I could make them love me but not understand -- and empathize -- my culture. And that led to all of my breakups. So, in a nutshell, I think that you're in my shoes, sweetie. We've learned from past experiences that unless the guy is asian, he may not accept or empathize with the life is for asians. I've always considered myself fairly white-washed until recently when I realized that I'm actually a mixture of both cultures: the carefree North American culture and the conservative asian culture. Now, I just have to find a guy who can accept and understand that I'm a bit of both worlds. He will have to accept the differences and clashes of these two worlds and respect them, just as he respects me. Easier said than done, huh? ^_^
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